I'm Baaaaack!

Wow, it's been six months since I last posted on my blog!  If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm a crime and trial junkie.  I've been wrapped up in the (in)famous Jodi Arias trial.  A woman who stabbed her ex-lover nearly 30 times, slit his throat, then shot him for good measure.  The epitome of a woman scorned.

This is the stuff of novels, though if anyone were to have written it, nobody would believe it was true.  Each new day brought with it another tale of filthy deceptions.  Anything to get her out of First-Degree Murder, which carries the death penalty.   It had all the hallmarks of great fiction -sex, lies, and yes....audiotape!

Perhaps a lot of you already know me from my HLN Crime Fan page on Facebook, where we've discussed this trial ad nauseam.  I've enjoyed meeting many new people that I now consider friends and hope they'll follow my blog as well.

I love reading, but I gravitate toward mysteries, detective stories, and true crime.  I write what I read, which is what they say authors tend to do.

So, for those of you that might have wondered what happened to my psychological thriller novel, it was put on hold while I allowed my mind to stray.  Not a good thing for a writer, as I've realized.  Much like exercise, if you miss one day, it can turn into two.then three..and so on. Writing is the same.  Every author will tell you to write EVERY DAY, and they're right.  If you don't, the 'muscle' becomes atrophied (yes, another metaphor to exercise, but if the shoe fits.).

When I received the feedback from my editor (who is WONDERFUL), I was overwhelmed by all the changes that were necessary, and I let it get to me.  I didn't know where to start.  I felt like I had to practically re-write the whole novel.  I've begun the process, and let me tell you, as a first-timer, it's ARDUOUS.  However, I want to make this happen, so I have to do it - no more excuses!  Life is way too short, and this has been my calling since childhood.

Now I see why some authors take YEARS to write a novel.the easy part (for me) is the writing - EDITING is the bear.  Learning what areas to tweak, which characters you (sadly) need to part with, and what you need to expand on to make the reader identify with your story and fantastical people.  It's a learning experience and can only serve to make me a stronger writer in the future.

There will ALWAYS be 'another trial' to follow, but now that I have a break, I'm making it my mission to forge ahead and work on the book.  I need to find a balance, which I've never been good at.  That Billy Joel song, "I Go To Extremes" seems to have been written for me!  I'm either gung-ho about a project or totally ignoring it.  I'm a great 'starter,' but this time, I need to be a 'finisher.'

Can You Help Matt ??

An interesting new thing I'm trying for my blog...this one is written by one of my characters, and he has some questions....

My name is Matt ... I'm a main character in "Visions of Violence," of which some of you have read several pages on this blog.  My symptoms are as follows...

- I have memory loss

- Certain images from my brain don't piece together, as if puzzle pieces are missing

- I had an awful fight with my ex-girlfriend, and she's now been missing for three years

 -I suffer from terrible headaches that can sometimes be debilitating

 -I'm searching for love, although I'm afraid to open my heart again.

 -I tend to stalk strangers in this search for happiness but don't know how to find it

What am I suffering from?  Can you help me?  Suggestions?

My First Official Contest .....

OK I'm entering my first official contest...how apropo is this for me?  It's a short story, of sorts, where the contestants HAVE to start the story with these words.... "The cell was eight feet wide."   Don't ask me how or where these ideas in my head come from, but here's what I have so far....and I hope nobody steals it to submit before me! lol

The cell was eight feet wide.  As the heavy steel doors clanked behind me, my stomach rose to my throat with the thought that I’d die within these walls.  I was afraid this might happen.  I’d been so careful, but there was always a chance of getting caught, and I was fully aware of that fact.

Why didn’t I listen to Jud?  He taught me well, but I strayed from the script.  He wouldn’t save me now.  He couldn’t.  He’d wind up in the cell next to me if he did.  I’m on my own and need a good lawyer.  Jud has the money and connections to hook me up, but again, he won’t.  He was my mentor, but now he’ll disavow me.

I slam my fist into the thin mattress I’ll be forced to sleep on for the rest of my life.  Even the pillow is smaller than one they afford you on an airplane.  My eyes fill with tears, but they’re not for regret over what I've done.  They’re for me.  I know it’s selfish and weak, but there it is.  I’m so angry at myself that my next punch hits the wall and renders my knuckles raw.

My only solace is the fact that I don’t have a cellmate.  I’m too pretty to withstand the diabolical brutality that would be visited upon me if I were in gen pop.  Yes, I’ve said it.  I’m pretty.  Prettier than most, in fact.  That’s how I met Jud.

He threw a garden party for all of his neighbors, and I was the new kid on the block.  He later told me he did it just to meet me.  It had all been a ruse, because I’m 22 years younger than him, and he didn’t want the appearance of impropriety.  God forbid he gave the ‘ladies who lunch’ more fodder.  They already mercilessly gossiped about him, foolishly thinking he didn’t know.  It was pure jealousy on their part.  He was an eligible bachelor with more money than Trump, and they wanted to get their perfectly manicured hands on it. 

Just a Taste.....

Here's just a taste of the new project I'm working on....it's a huge change for me, since I'm trying to write it from the first person point of view...I hope it pulls you in :)

I’m sitting alone in the dark.  Is he still out there?  I’m afraid to check.  This game of one upsmanship is growing tedious.  I’m the expert.  It’s now my move.  

The police still have no idea the murders we’re committing are related in any way.  

I’m determined to be the victor in this little dance.  Lance is a creep.  I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I chose him to be a competitor in this tournament.    I was fine on my own,  but no, I had to raise the stakes by including him just because I felt I owed him.  As a result, he’s getting sloppy.  My next victim now has to be him.  There’s no way I’m risking getting caught because of this idiot.

We met last year, at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.  I’m hooked on Vicodin.  He’s hooked on Oxy.  The perfect match, or so I thought.  My dumbest move was to sleep with him that night.  He was alluring but not very smart.  Still, I continued to date him up until recently.

I was in a drunken stupor when the idea came to me.  I foolishly admitted I had killed someone and how exhilarating it would be to have a partner.  After telling him enough details that could be verified, it was too late to deny it.  He wanted in, and he’s the type to flap his gums if I didn’t agree.

He just killed a runaway, burying her body deep in the woods, and now it’s my turn again.  My first kill, the one I told him about, was an old nemesis from high school.  I prefer killing someone I’ve staked out for a while.  It’s all about preparation, not just randomness the way he did it.  The enjoyment was more in the gratification of having your victim look you in the eye and know you’re going to end their life.  I told him the rules of the game, and as if to prove his stupidity, he completely disregarded them.

Cutting Through the Brush....

I'm still in the editing phase of my book, and it doesn't seem like much to chop 5,000 words from a manuscript, but I did it.  However, it's still quite a lot - currently at 105,000 where it was previously 110,000.  This is simply being done by cutting out unnecessary words and taking out redundant ones as well.  For example,the word 'only' appeared 104 times!!  I was able to slim it down to 46.  This tedious process is necessary, and as I plod along, I keep reminding myself that the 'end product' will be a polished manuscript.  It will finally be something I can proudly hand over to all of the agents and publishers that will be begging me for it (lol).

I had no idea this would be such hard work, but it HAS to be worth it, in the end.  All of the toiling...all of the haggling over a word here or a different sentence there...I'm told this happens most often with your first book, and the ones that follow are easier.  I'm a tad skeptical on that, and the jury is out.  I'm thinking any following books will be held to the same standard as the first.  Herego, they ALL have to be good.

As I say that, though, I'm reminded of all the series' that I listen to on audiobooks.  There have been plenty of times I've been disappointed in a book that is part of a series.  I can't love them ALL.  Some are naturally better than others.  That's not a good way to think - as if I'm already lowering my standard - so  I refuse to!

I will forge ahead and worry about this FIRST book and make it the best it can be. ...Stay tuned.....