OUT of the Comfort Zone...

A few words about stepping out of your comfort zone...there's truth to the fact that when you dip a toe into the water of 'uncomfortableness,' you feel like a warrior when you reach the other side!  The fear that may be holding you back is simply a lack of confidence.  I've been teaching myself Spanish for several years.  I can understand it when it's spoken, read it, etc., but when it comes to actually speaking it and forming my sentences, I've been seriously lacking.  This stemmed from absolute terror of making a mistake.  I knew what I had to do - which was actually converse with someone - but I put it off for these last two years.

Yesterday was the day!  I threw myself into the deep end!  I FINALLY got the courage to meet a new friend online and talk to her.   What happened?  I was SO pumped up and excited afterwards!  Yes, I made mistakes.  Yes, it took me a while to communicate my thoughts.  But it was the next step I had to take in order to accomplish my ultimate goal, which is to speak with fluency and ease.  And next week, I'll be doing the same thing.  I'm sure that with each week, I will improve more and more.

FACE YOUR FEAR!  Look it right in the face and walk through it!  You will feel such a sense of accomplishment!  It will be one less obstacle in the way, as you continue to walk toward success!

Law of Attraction

I've recently discovered an amazingly simple philosophy that's been around for a long time...the Law of Attraction.  Put in easy-to-understand terms, it means that what you put out there into the world is what will come back to you.  Much like a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you're angry at the world, that's what you will see everywhere, and receive more in return.  On the other hand, if you're more open to the beauty of the universe, like a magnet, you will attract more of that to you.

I've been practicing every day ... consciously aware of how I speak, feel, and view my world.  It's made a huge difference for me.  I said it's amazingly simple, but it's much more complex, as it can be hard to adjust your thinking.  Spend a day trying to catch how you act and talk...even how you think.  Is it negative?  Is it full of the words "I should, I can't, they shouldn't, don't, even NO?"  Most people would realize that we think and speak in negative terms.

For example, we may think, "I don't have enough money."  Well, that's what you're putting out there into the universe, and the universe wants to give you what you ask for to make you happy.  It doesn't have a filter, so it hears that you don't have enough...so you'll continue to 'not have enough.'  You must train yourself to re-phrase... such as, "I can have enough money, I see myself attracting more money like a magnet.  Money flows into my existence."  

This may sound like a joke or just plain crazy talk...however, let me tell you, that ONE DAY after I started talking this way to myself, the UPS man came to our door to personally deliver a letter from our bank to offer refinancing of our home.  It will save us HUNDREDS of dollars each month!

Come on a journey with me....we can help make for a more positive world for ourselves!  I have some online friends who believe in this, and hopefully they will add to the conversation below...stay tuned!

Why Are Criminal Defendants like Jodi Arias Allowed to Trash Their Victims Without Evidence?

Trends Point to Victim Bashing

Dawn Dix, Yahoo! Contributor Network

In murder trials, it seems to be an up and coming trend to 'blame the victim.' For instance, look at the infamous Jodi Arias case, where she has eclipsed Casey Anthony as the most-hated woman in America. Who ever thought that was possible?

Allegations made that were never proven - just on the word of the defendant, who by all accounts, is an habitual liar. Mormonism was one focus. Now, in every other religion, there's probably a creed that you shouldn't be having sexual intercourse before marriage; however, with this case, Mormonism was front and center, as though it were the only religion that forbids it.

Next, we had allegations of sexual peodphilia, which were also unproven. Not a single trace of emails, pictures, or any form of downloads on the computer of the victim.

What was the draw in this twisted case? A combination of what some called a pretty defendant, and sex of course - that sells after all, doesn't it? Sexual recordings, which in all likelihood she made without his knowledge - to possibly blackmail him at some point. Plenty of nude photos of both parties. If he were to dump her, she'd ruin his life in the Mormon community.

Let's not forget the physical abuse allegations as well - also unfounded. No pictures, no police reports, no friends coming forward to say she was abused. Nothing but the 'word' of an admitted killer. So I guess - anything goes, huh?


It's like a train wreck, where you can't take your eyes away, even though you know you should. Every day, there was yet another new revelation. Eighteen excruciating days of a defendant on the stand - feeding off the spotlight. She seems to crave attention, like a child, where even if it's negative attention, it's SOME attention, which gives her validation she's obviously missing in her life.

Something about Travis Alexander became an obsession for her - and a deadly one at that. So what does it get you at the end of the day? A very dangerous, lying, unemotional defendant who will take out anyone in her way to get what she wants - and what she wanted was him. Cliche, I know, but if she couldn't have him, nobody else could.

She still makes the news by being allowed to actually tweet from her jail cell! Why this hasn't been sanctioned is beyond me. Social media has made trials very different these days, having been used even in the Casey Anthony trial. Her attorneys would go onto Facebook and Twitter - see what they should and shouldn't be doing - and use it as part of their strategy.

What other criminal has taken to the airwaves not five minutes after being convicted of Murder One in which she could possibly face a death sentence? It was like some surreal version of a celebrity going on a PR tour for their latest movie or an acclaimed author going on book tour. Pure insanity.

I'd love to - and every shrink out there, no doubt - get half an hour with her to actually pick her brain to see what's in there. Of course, it would take a highly skilled therapist, who wasn't manipulated and fooled - to see through her. If she'd allow someone to help her, even though it won't change her new lot in life, it might give us a glimpse into her brain and what deep-seated problems she has.

Not only was Travis brutally slaughtered, but his name and reputation were dragged through the mud. In essence, she's killing him a second time, and loving every minute of it. We need to re-think this 'blame the victim' defense. Unless there is HARD PROOF of allegations, they should never be allowed into a court of law.

Manson: Monster or Myth?

I may catch a lot of flak for this, but what's life without a little controversy?  Was Charles Manson really such a mastermind cult leader?  Or was it just easier to give into the 'hype' at the time and slap that label on him? 

I've just finished reading "Manson: In His Own Words" (co-written by Nuel

Emmons) and found myself fascinated.  It was hard to put down, because I felt as though he was talking to me.  It transported me back to the 60's.  I could see how he became captivating.  All he wanted was to live with his growing group of misfits in peace and love.

If his side is to be believed, the reason for the killings was due to some of the 'other' members getting overly involved with drugs and spinning out of control.  True, he didn't stop them once he knew what was going, but I'm not so sure he was the diabolical mastermind he was portrayed as.

He allowed people to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.  He didn't preach, and certainly not about killing or murder.  He took in anyone who seemed lost in the world and needed a place to belong.  One could argue that's exactly what made them vulnerable to suggestion, but at what point does one take responsibility for their own choices?

If you're like me, and obsessed with true crime and/or 'all things Manson,' I'd highly recommend this book.  Upon completing it, I felt compelled to contact Mr. Manson.  I called Corcoran prison, where he's housed, with every intention of writing to him.  After all, I'm a writer, and it could possibly spawn a book.

After several phone calls, and being bounced around their system, I finally obtained his address.

That's when my husband drew the line and put his foot down, not appreciating the thought of Manson having our address.  Even if I used my work address, he wasn't comfortable with it.  I understand his concern.  Even though Manson is about 80 years old now, his mystique still gives one pause.

I have to admit, the curiosity and intrigue feel overpowering right now, but I've always been impulsive and rarely listen to anyone, even my very wise husband.  In this instance, I will...for NOW...but I'm keeping that contact info on file:)

Keep those muscles flexed...those WRITING muscles that is ;)

They say cliches exist for a reason - because they're TRUE.  That old saying of writing every day is no exception.  I find that if I don't work those creative muscles, they atrophy.  Like any other muscle in the body, if we 'let it go,' we forget how to use it.  Even if you can't muster up ideas for your current project, engage in a different writing exercise.  If you only write several sentences, it can sometimes spark more to follow.  Before you know it, your words are flowing across the page...or computer screen...whichever method you prefer.

On day at work, as I sat in my car at lunchtime, I saw a beautiful butterfly flit across my path.  I wrote down a few things about the experience...how wonderous nature is, noting the different colors in its wings, and how it floated through the air.  Once I was done, I'd realized I had another IDEA for a portion of my current manuscript. 

I'm the type of person that's too easily distracted.  If I allow myself to miss one day of writing, a month will then pass, and I'm looking at a blank computer screen...no new ideas...just stuck in my story.  That gets me nowhere if my dream is to be published.  Books don't write themselves. Even famous authors have to sit down and  slog through a manuscript the same way the rest of us do.  They're no exception, and I've read that even THEY suffer with writer's block from time to time.

 

I've become more observant....that truck with the squeaky trailer that passes me by in traffic...the sound of the waterfall in a building's lobby...all become a sentence, and in no time,  a paragraph.

 

Even if you're not a writer - notice the world around you, and it becomes a more interesting place.

How is YOUR writing?

Show of hands..how many of you out there have noticed a decline in the quality of your handwriting?  I swear, since I started typing a lot more on my computer, I've watched my formerly neat handwriting morph into something you'd see on a doctor's prescription pad.

Have we become THAT technologically advanced that actual writing is falling by the wayside?  Rarely do we send notes or letters in the mail anymore.  Even greeting cards can now be sent electronically! 

I wonder if there are any writers out there that actually WRITE?  And I mean

that literally.   I find I can't do it for two reasons - one, my thoughts &

hands are quicker in concert, and two -- when I do try it, I practically revert into my old standby of shorthand I learned many years ago just to keep up with my brain.  (yes I still remember it and even THINK in shorthand - weird I know, but hey, that's  how I've kept up with it.  It's like learning a new language-if you don't USE it, you lose it).

Also, if I write down my thoughts, my hand seriously cramps up after a while.  At that point, I throw down the gauntlet (I mean pen), and turn to my trusty laptop.  So..anyone ELSE out there ever actually hand write anything other than a grocery list?  Let me know..

I'm Baaaaack!

Wow, it's been six months since I last posted on my blog!  If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm a crime and trial junkie.  I've been wrapped up in the (in)famous Jodi Arias trial.  A woman who stabbed her ex-lover nearly 30 times, slit his throat, then shot him for good measure.  The epitome of a woman scorned.

This is the stuff of novels, though if anyone were to have written it, nobody would believe it was true.  Each new day brought with it another tale of filthy deceptions.  Anything to get her out of First-Degree Murder, which carries the death penalty.   It had all the hallmarks of great fiction -sex, lies, and yes....audiotape!

Perhaps a lot of you already know me from my HLN Crime Fan page on Facebook, where we've discussed this trial ad nauseam.  I've enjoyed meeting many new people that I now consider friends and hope they'll follow my blog as well.

I love reading, but I gravitate toward mysteries, detective stories, and true crime.  I write what I read, which is what they say authors tend to do.

So, for those of you that might have wondered what happened to my psychological thriller novel, it was put on hold while I allowed my mind to stray.  Not a good thing for a writer, as I've realized.  Much like exercise, if you miss one day, it can turn into two.then three..and so on. Writing is the same.  Every author will tell you to write EVERY DAY, and they're right.  If you don't, the 'muscle' becomes atrophied (yes, another metaphor to exercise, but if the shoe fits.).

When I received the feedback from my editor (who is WONDERFUL), I was overwhelmed by all the changes that were necessary, and I let it get to me.  I didn't know where to start.  I felt like I had to practically re-write the whole novel.  I've begun the process, and let me tell you, as a first-timer, it's ARDUOUS.  However, I want to make this happen, so I have to do it - no more excuses!  Life is way too short, and this has been my calling since childhood.

Now I see why some authors take YEARS to write a novel.the easy part (for me) is the writing - EDITING is the bear.  Learning what areas to tweak, which characters you (sadly) need to part with, and what you need to expand on to make the reader identify with your story and fantastical people.  It's a learning experience and can only serve to make me a stronger writer in the future.

There will ALWAYS be 'another trial' to follow, but now that I have a break, I'm making it my mission to forge ahead and work on the book.  I need to find a balance, which I've never been good at.  That Billy Joel song, "I Go To Extremes" seems to have been written for me!  I'm either gung-ho about a project or totally ignoring it.  I'm a great 'starter,' but this time, I need to be a 'finisher.'

DIANE DIMOND INTERVIEW.....

I've had the pleasure of getting to know Diane Dimond, acclaimed journalist and author, recently.  We enjoy spirited games of "Words with Friends" on Facebook.  She was kind and generous enough to agree to an interview.  Thank you, Diane!!

I remember first seeing you on Court TV and wonder how you got your start.  Did you always want to be a journalist?  
I started in the business in Albuquerque, NM. My best friend’s dad owned the local CBS radio and TV station and I got a job there answering the phones on the week-ends in high school. I naturally gravitated back to the newsroom because that’s where all the action was! 

Ultimately, I became the morning newscaster on the radio – and in the afternoon I covered the cops beat. I won a big award (American Bar Assoc’n Silver Gavel Award) for revealing corruption within the local Sheriff’s Department – and THAT helped me get a job at National Public Radio in Washington, DC.  I was the newscaster on the program, ‘All Things Considered’ for many years. Then, missing being a reporter (who wants to be stuck behind a desk, right?) I jumped to the RKO Radio Networks and became the Capitol Hill reporter. I also covered the White House, Pentagon, national political conventions – you name it.  Stayed there about six years and then figured if I was ever going to try TV I better snap to it.  I was 27 years old, a single mother and I was flabbergasted that WCBS-TV in New York offered me a job. I covered New Jersey for the station.

Next stop was a very short stint at Fox TV (it wasn’t even really a network then) where I did a pilot for a 60-minutes type show. That never got picked up but I was under contract so they put me on “A Current Affair” with Maury Povich. I liked the longer pieces I was able to produce there and when the boss jumped ship to launch “Hard Copy” he took me with him. 

We spent most of the 90’s living in Hollywood, California. My husband (yes, I re-married) is a radio anchorman at CBS in New York - and when we moved to Ca. he worked for station KFWB. While at “Hard Copy”, in late 1993,  I broke what was my biggest story:  The Michael Jackson molestation case. I also got to travel the country interviewing crazy inmates like James Earl Ray, Kenneth Bianchi (Hillside Strangler), Pamela Smart, Richard Allen Davis and Jeffrey McDonald. 

 In the late 90’s Geraldo called me and lured me to come back East to do a nightly newscast with him on CNBC called “Upfront Tonight.” After two years he lost interest and NBC transferred me to MSNBC where I anchored day-time hours, hosted a crime show called “Missing Persons” and ultimately was assigned to cover Al Gore during the disputed Presidential race. (I stood outside the Vice Presidents mansion in DC for 33 days waiting for that damned chad recount!)  

After that I was exhausted and decided to take some time off.  The only thing I did was a little freelance at Court TV, sitting in for Catherine Crier when she took time off. Shortly thereafter the tragedy of 9-11 happened – and I didn’t work for any bona fide news department anymore!! It was maddening.  But my old acquaintance Roger Ailes called me and asked if I would come fill in as an anchor on Fox News as he was sending all of his anchors overseas to cover the American response to the 9-11 attacks.  I did double duty at Court TV and Fox for about a year.  Then Court TV hired me – and well, you know the rest.  It was there I re-broke the Michael Jackson molestation story.  I had a duel contract with Court TV and NBC (The Today Show & Dateline) during the run-up to the trial and for about a year beyond.  You can see my full resume at my web site – www.dianedimond.net

Who were some of your favorite correspondents and anchors that you’ve worked with along your career? 
As a kid in Albuquerque I was inspired watching Liz Trotta cover the Vietnam War. I thought….wow! A woman as a war correspondent, I’d like to do that! Interestingly, when I went to Fox after 9-11 I got to meet Liz and she and I are fast friends. I’ve worked with so many great people … Josh Mankewicz, Lester Holt, Savannah Guthrie (we covered the Jackson trial together) – Mike Wallace and Douglas Edwards  gave me wonderful pep talks along the way. So did Pauline Fredricks at NPR (she was the UN correspondent)  Brian Williams and I were quite a pair when he covered New Jersey for the CBS station of Philly and I covered for WCBS in New York.  He is hysterically funny off the air. Matt Lauer was always very nice to me – for a time we had the same agent. Ann Curry is a magnificently kind person and I hated to see what happened to her at the Today Show.   

You have a weekly column – how do you come up with topics?   Is it difficult to write every week?  
 Sometimes I get a bit stumped for a topic but not very often. I write about things that raise my hackles or touch my soul somehow.  I like to write columns that, after they’ve been read, the reader says, “Gee, I didn’t realize that!” or “I never thought about that topic that way…”  We are a society of laws and rules and when those start to crumble, or if there is unfairness in the system I think we need to pay attention to that.  Note: the Halloween column which will be posted this Monday or the TSA column I wrote recently or the one about the young woman who is doing LIFE IN PRISON for accidentally killing four people.  I like to introduce people to others they might never know about – like the Mother who fought for the right to see her son’s rapist/murderer be put to death (can you imagine that?!) or the woman who dedicated her life to trying to get the hundreds of thousands of old DNA rape kits tested after she’d learned her evidence kit had just sat there for 7 years!  There are so many great crime and justice stories out there…. 

What made you want to become an author?

 I had so much information crammed into my head about Michael Jackson – from 1993 to 2003 (when cops raided Neverland for the 2^nd time) – that I just had to dis-gorge it from my brain! Plus, no one had ever written a non-laudatory book about Jackson.  I wanted to put everything I’d learned into some perspective.  The book, “Cirque du Salahi” came out of me getting pissed off that the media started and then kept up such a stupid, silly for so long.  I had covered the White House. I knew you couldn’t “crash” the White House.  So I did an autopsy of the media coverage and unmasked the whole saga as being over hyped and senseless. (it started with 2 gossip columnists at the Washington Post on a slow Thanksgiving holiday – and all other media outlets pounced on it because, well….hey – it was the WASHINGTON POST reporting it and there was hardly any other news)

Did you experience any difficulties getting your first book published?  Any challenges?

Yes. The Jackson fans wanted to kill me already (seriously) because I dared to report what the police thought their idol had done.  Publishers did not want to venture into anti-celebrity waters – but finally Simon & Shuster/Atria books bought it.  The fans think I made a mint off the book. But, sadly, I did not.  The biggest challenge was trying to finish the book while I was still covering the Jackson trial. I would work at the Santa Maria, Ca courthouse all day – then go to my hotel room and write until I, literally, fell asleep at the computer.

P.S. to this day I still get about half a dozen death threats a month from Jackson fans  worldwide. Most are young kids who have no idea what the truth about MJ was.

How long does it take you to write a book?

Depends. I was so fired up over the stupidity of the White House Gate Crasher saga I think it took only about 6 weeks….and some of that time was spent doing research with the Salahis at their home in Virginia.  P.s. – despite what the haters say the Salahi’s did NOT have any editorial input into the book and they got no money from it….or me. Ever.

What things do you love & hate about writing? 
I love the feeling when I finish a piece. I hate the fact that sitting so long hurts my bad back.

From personal experience, I know you’re a mean “Words with Friends” player.  What else do you like to do when you’re not writing? 

I love to garden, tend my roses and my vegetables. I love spending time with my daughter and my three grandchildren. (Jenna and her husband and kids live about 2 hours north of us) I love to cook, listen to live jazz and go to comedy clubs. Believe me after writing what I write about all the time – one needs to take time out to LAUGH! Besides Words With Friends I find I’m very competitive in all sorts of games – we have a pool table (I usually win) and a dart board (hubby Michael usually wins) in the house. We have mean Monopoly games with the kids…
Oh, and I love my two fat cats, Miles and May.

Any suggestions or advice to help those of us that want to become published authors?

Take a class or course in how to write a good book proposal. Publishers are so shy these days about buying ANY new work – they are that spooked about the E-book craze. So, if you want to sell what you write you have to sell your idea FIRST via the book proposal.  My literary manger, Sharlene Martin, has written a book called, “Publish Your Non-Fiction Book” you might want to pick up.

Do you have another book in the works?

Not one that I’ve been able to sell.

If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor or inspiration?

Honestly, I just do what I do. I don’t try to pattern myself after others. Love John Grisham’s writing but I will never be able to write like him.  Scott Turow,

Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?

My pals Stacy Dittrich and John DeDakis

When reading for fun, what are your favorite genres?

Crime, crime and crime …. Oh, and I just finished “50 Shades of Gray”